The Diner's Rookie Diary
by Sam Monson
17/4/2008
 
With the season nearly underway, it is time to update you as to the progress of your humble Diner reporter turned amateur wide receiver. Pre-season training has not gone well. Like that rash you just can't shift, the injury bug has been a constant problem.
 
The first problem came during a particularly Baltic training session, whilst running some practice routes, having failed to properly warm up (just what point in my life did that actually become a necessity?!). Experiencing a slight twinge of the ham-string during one route, I quickly dismissed it and lined back up, this time to run a deep post pattern. Already I can see you understand where this is going... Sprinting out of the blocks went fine, the cut was made, the ball was in the air, turn back to find it and...TWANG! Someone had shot me in the leg! I was man down! The ship was sinking! The ham-string had exercised its wrath on the poor fool who failed to heed its early warning.
 
Luckily, as it happened, the ball was badly underthrown. So as I slowed down, hobbling like a fool, I was able to catch the ball anyway – ever the consummate professional (before limping to the sideline clutching my leg.)
 
This was a setback, but never fear, for every cloud has its silver lining, and I was ready to take full advantage of this one. The team had reached the stage of running plays from the playbook, which of course required most people needing to be shown the playbook every time anything from it was mentioned. I started off my sideline duties merely as 'the guy with the playbook', but I was shooting for bigger things, over the next few weeks I rose to the lofty position of Offensive Coordinator.
 
OK, so this was more a practical effect of me being the only person who actually brought the playbook with them - meaning I could ready a play to be called whilst the last one was being run – than any official capacity, but to hell with it, I was determined to be the best coordinator I could be.
 
To this end I sported the very finest in sports hoodie, coupled with some first rate cords, all I needed was the headset and I could have been standing on an NFL or NCAA sidelines issuing commands without anybody batting an eyelid. Given the temperatures outside, I also wouldn't have turned down my own booth with TVs etc that the likes of Al Saunders coordinate from. You never see him freezing his nuts off on the sideline, fumbling with frozen fingers at the playbook – though I admit it's possible he has a better grasp of his playbook than I do of mine.
 
The hamstring was healing fast, so I decided to return to practice. The injury bug however, wasn't having any of that kind of insolence and decided that I had clearly not learned my lesson yet. By the end of my first practice back I had received a particularly harsh blow to the thumb by the helmet of a flying cornerback – ligament damage, back to the sidelines with you!
 
Another month of mooching around the sidelines in my Offensive Coordinator Sideline Gear™ and I was beginning to forget what exercise actually felt like, and what's worse, my grasp of the playbook wasn't actually improving. You'd think that at this stage they'd be sinking in through sheer frequency of use, but oh no. The problem appeared to be that my entire time was spent flicking through the playbook in panic trying to find specific formations, plays and routes - I never actually took any of it in! – this was looking like it would actually require sitting down and learning...study!
 
The season was fast approaching, and I had only a few short weeks to get myself in game-shape before our first contest of the IAFL season, vs. the Carrickfergus Knights. This was expected to be a stern test for us, and we needed to be ready. Which meant I should probably learn the playbook at some point...
 
Next instalment, game time!
 
Archive Rookie Diary:
Rookie Diary April 5th
Rookie Diary April 2nd