Alternative End of Season Awards
by Liam Blackburn
14/1/2010
With week 17 finished, another regular season has been consigned to the history books. Already the franchises are focused on next year but we couldn't let them go without reflecting on another crazy season in the NFL. Various accolades and awards were handed out to the league's rookies and comeback stars alike this week, but these awards take a look at the unsung heroes. The men who provided us with all the drama, despair and comedy that defined this year.
The “To me, to you, to me, to you” Award
WINNER – Eric Mangini, Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson
The quarterback battle in Cleveland between Quinn and Anderson raged on right up until opening weekend, then raged on some more and then raged on a bit more. To be fair, you have to feel for Mangini. It was like he'd been left in the playground with the two last kids that nobody really wanted. He started with Quinn, then pulled him for Anderson, then went back with Quinn. I think Anderson was in by the end but even the most ardent members of the Dawg Pound were struggling to name their starting QB. Finally, Mangini decided he didn't trust either of them and decided it would be far easier to run Jerome Harrison into the ground by letting him pound the ball around 500 times a game. Presumably Quinn and Anderson can take it turns to take this award home.
The “I've seen some things in my time” Award
WINNER – Bill Belichick
I can only assume that Bill Belichick has never tried to explain soccer's offside rule. The salt shakers and ketchup bottles must stay in the cupboard at chez Belichick. If he had tried, he may never have gone for it on fourth and two on that night in Indianapolis. Explaining offside is a nightmare and so too at times, is explaining the intricate rules of football. Explaining the four downs is probably the easiest element. I explain to novices that, usually in most situations, the team kicks on fourth down, particularly if they are winning. That night, Belichick and his Patriots went and killed that theory by attempting and failing to get the first down. It'd be like bringing the goalkeeper up for a corner when you're one up, opening the batting with Monty Panesar or changing to wet tyres in a Grand Prix when the sun is shining.
The “You might trick me once; I won't let you trick me twice” Award
WINNER – Denver Broncos
When a head coach comes into the league, you expect him to make a few waves. But when Josh McDaniels rolled up in Mile-High last year, he unleashed a tidal wave over the city. McDaniels booted out “franchise” quarterback Jay Cutler and turned Brandon Marshall into the problem child. Six weeks in and the Broncos were 6-0, McDaniels had masterminded victories over the Bengals, Pats, Chargers and Cowboys. Maybe, just maybe, the man was a genius! Kyle Orton's name was even whispered with the initials MVP after it. Then the bye week came and normality was resumed, the Broncos had fooled us all. They finished 8-8 after McDaniels dropped Marshall and tight end Tony Scheffler for the season's finale, a must win game against the Kansas City Chiefs. The Bronco's lost and they are now the sure pick for the worst 8-8 team out there. Expect some more flood barriers to be erected around Denver again this summer.
The “Here's one we made earlier” award
WINNER – Denver Broncos
Those bucking Broncos collect their second award for a play they drew up way back in week one. With all the innovative Wildcat/Razorback/Tigercat/Top Cat/Cat Deeley plays exhibited around the league, it was going to take something special to win this award. Dubbed “The Immaculate Deflection”, Denver pulled off a remarkable last minute play to win their first game and start the season on a high. The coaching staff, clearly aware of Kyle Orton's limitations, told their QB to throw into heavy traffic, rebound the ball off a Bengals defender and allow wide-out Brandon Stokley to gobble up the ball and run home. Stokley then had the nous to run along the goal line to waste time, it's just a shame this nous deserted him in week 16 when he mistook an official for a tag-team partner. The play was perfectly executed going 87 yards and for sheer drama and ingenuity it edges out Robert Meachem's reception/strip/fumble recovery/touchdown against Washington.
The “Don't, don't believe the hype” Award
WINNER – Michael Vick
Last summer, amid the McDaniels-induced tsunamis in Denver and the awarding winning soap opera that is Brett Favre; everybody was talking about Michael Vick. Vick was due to cause as much controversy as Caster Semenya but like the South African sprinter, in the end it all sort of passed and everyone wondered why they were even bothered in the first place. For the Philadelphia Eagles, Vick's appearances have been few and far between. By the time Vick returned to Atlanta in week 13, nobody was worried if they missed the two downs he may have been involved in. Vick will no doubt return to be the headline act again one day but “Vick: The Sequel” lacked the drama it advertised.
The “If they ever wanted to make another Rocky, they'd hire…?” Award
WINNER – Tom Cable
I recently wrote an article on how boxing is once again on the rise but it struck me as soon as I'd finished that I'd omitted the year's biggest knockout. Oakland Raiders head coach Tom Cable's devastating blow to Randy Hanson. By fracturing his assistant's jaw, Cable's jab must have been a monster! Cable himself is not a small guy and he simply doesn't look like the type of guy to mess with. Rex Ryan may have walked over harder people than Channing Crowder to get to a fight but I guarantee one of them was not Cable. He might not have the gold that Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather and David Haye possess but Cable does have JaMarcus Russell. That's got to be worth something, right? Still if the Raiders do dump Cable, I hear Don King is very keen to talk to him.
The “A fine wine gets better with age…” Award
WINNER – Brett Favre
There are many things in life which seem to get better as they get older, for example wine, cheese, antiques and ironically, denim. Perhaps Brett was willing to give his Wranglers a little longer to mature and this is why he decided to come out of retirement, again. Favre, like Ryan Giggs, may not be playing at his peak but he's very near to it and he has enjoyed somewhat of a renaissance this year. There's plenty of life left in the old dog yet and with the play-offs, ANOTHER possible meeting with the Packers and rumours of a rift with head coach Brad Childress there's plenty more fireworks still to come.
The “…whereas the bread should probably get thrown out when it starts to get mouldy” Award
WINNER – Jake Delhomme
There is probably only one sports star whose 2009 was worse than Tiger Woods and that is Carolina Panther's QB Jake Delhomme. He started '09 with an interception-laden play-off defeat against the Arizona Cardinals and he ended the year on IR with a broken finger after a miserable start to this campaign. His final numbers for this season were worrying, eighteen picks to just eight touchdowns. Delhomme will probably be back next year, but he may be on the sidelines and with a clipboard. The Panthers have to pay him and therefore it's unlikely we'll see an Old Yeller style send-off for the veteran. I've no idea if Jake is a fan of art but perhaps he could do what Jack Russell did when he retired from cricket and use his pen and clipboard to start sketching the sport he used to be good at.
The “As the project leader, I'm afraid to say…Jim...you're fired” Award
WINNER – Dan Snyder and Jim Zorn
When the historians look back on this year they will point to the financial crisis that engulfed the world. Redundancies have sadly been common this year but one in particular really sticks out. Jim Zorn's belongings may have only recently left his desk, but Dan Snyder evicted him on the day he told Sherman Lewis to call the plays. Like a superhero stripped of all his powers, Zorn may have been wearing the headset, but the microphone was defunct. He was the first post-season coaching casualty but interviews were going on before the season had even finished. Garry Cook was lambasted for the way he dealt with Mark Hughes' sacking but he has nothing on the Redskins' owner. With Snyder at the helm, the Redskins, along with Denver and Oakland, look set to dominate these awards for some time yet.
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