Power Ranking The Decade:
Wooden Spoon Winners # 32-21
by Chris Brophy
21/5/2008
 
Here we are, 2008 already and in two years time it will be time to crown a team 'Team of the Decade'. The Diner likes to be ahead of the pack so we thought it would be fun to power rank the decade thus far and also revisit things over the next couple of years. I'm pretty sure most people can predict the top couple of teams but has the Diner got your team and it's decade so far ranked as a decent effort or as bottom of the class?
 
We start with the bottom 12 teams. Next time out will be the ten in the middle of the pack and then finally we'll have the top ten of the decade (so far). Read on MacDuff...
 
32, Detroit Lions
Record: 40 - 88 (0.313)
Play-off Appearances: None
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
Congratulations Matt Millen, you have officially (if you can call a Football Diner Power Ranking official) made the Lions the biggest laughing stock of the decade. Averaging 5 wins per year they have managed double digit loss seasons in six of this decades seasons and their best season came in 2000 when they managed nine wins. It's all gone downhill from there.
 
31, Arizona Cardinals
Record: 43 - 85 (0.336)
Play-off Appearances: None
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
Everyone knows the Cardinals have a tradition of stinking out the joint but even the previous decade had a play-off appearance and even a play-off win! This decade has seen many an NFL forum spend the off-season discussing someone's wild prediction that this will finally be the Cardinals year. By the way, I think the Cardinals will be a play-off teams next year...
 
30, Houston Texans
Record: 34-64 (0.350)
Play-off Appearances: None
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
There are no other decades to compare for this team (although Houston fans might want to recall the high powered Oilers of the early '60's or the late '80's/early '90's) but still, it's been a slow start for the NFL's newest franchise and it wasn't helped by their first ever draft pick (David Carr) doing a good impression of a deer in headlights. Has the NFL not given the Texans the same chances it gave the expansion Panthers and Jaguars in the 1990's? Discuss.
 
29, Buffalo Bills
Record: 53 - 75 (0.414)
Play-off Appearances: None
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
The 1990's were good to the Bills - except for Super Bowls - but this decade has seen them never make post season and never register more than nine wins in a season. Long gone are the days when Jim Kelly hit Andre Reed deep or Thurman Thomas burned off a long gain. All AFC East teams have to battle through the all conquering Patriots anyway but the Bills have been nothing more than making up the numbers so far this decade.
 
28, Cleveland Browns
Record: 48 - 80 (0.375)
Play-off Appearances: One (0-1)
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
This decade always promised to be tough, especially at the start of the noughties because the Browns had in effect been 're-born' after a four year absence. Chris Palmer's time in charge was a disaster but things did begin to look up under Butch Davis who at least got them to post season in 2002. It was a false dawn though and it was only last season the Browns looked like they might be competitive again. Is this another false dawn or is the sun set to rise over Cleveland and shine for a good few years?
 
27, Cincinnati Bengals
Record: 54 - 74 (0.422)
Play-off Appearances: One (0-1)
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
The 1980's saw the Bengals nearly reach the top of the mountain twice only to be denied by the Team of the Eighties (the 49ers). The 1990's saw the Bengals become the Bungals. This decade may have seen the Bungal tag removed but recently it's threatened to be replaced by an electronic tag as all this team does is get arrested. Some high powered offense has seen them at least get competitive but with Defensive mind Marv Lewis in charge, he has failed to create a defense that can help this team get over the hump.
 
26, San Francisco 49ers
Record: 53-75 (0.414)
Play-off Appearances: Two (1-2)
Division Titles: One (2002)
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
How the mighty have fallen! The 1980's were great, the 1990's weren't bad but this decade has seen the Niners head south and struggle to get back up the ladder. The decade started off well enough and who can forget the classic play-off win over the Giants in 2002 but since then there has been no post season for the Niners. It may take until the next decade for this proud franchise to turn things around.
 
25, Atlanta Falcons
Record: 55 - 72 - 1 (0.430)
Play-off Appearances: Twice (2-2)
Division Titles: One (2004)
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
A strange decade for the Falcons. They entered it coming down off a franchise high Super Bowl appearance with some struggling years. But with the addition of Mike Vick who in his second year led the Falcons to an historic play off win in Green Bay things appeared to be on the up and up. However who could have predicted that either Vick would now be in jail or that the Falcons would have been dumped by their first year coach last season?
 
24, Washington Redskins
Record: 58-70 (0.453)
Play-off Appearances: Two (1-2)
Division Titles: None
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
Like the Niners, things just aren't like the 1980's. Dan Snyder took over the team in 1999 and straight away has tried to buy a Super Bowl. All he got in return are two play-off appearances and the only NFC East team not to win the division this decade. The best part of the decade was getting Joe Gibbs back and while things improved, even he couldn't pull back the glory years of the 1980's to the present.
 
23, Miami Dolphins
Record: 61-67 (0.477)
Play-off Appearances: Two (1-2)
Division Titles: One (2000)
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
Things started well for the Dolphins, a division title and play-off appearances were the order of the day early in the decade. Since then, it's rolled downhill to a franchise low this past season. Dolphin fans would feel better at present if Ricky Williams rolled them a spliff! For a franchise that was super consistent in coaching and personnel in previous decades the noughties have brought upheaval in coaching, at QB and even in the front office. Can the Tuna friendly Dolphins rebound before the decade is done?
 
22, Minnesota Vikings
Record: 62-66 (0.484)
Play-off Appearances: Two (2-2)
Division Titles: One (2000)
Super Bowl Appearances: None
 
Having Brett Favre's Packers and a strong Bears defense in the division hasn't helped the Vikings cause but they have also had an ownership change. All in all it has added up to a decade of mediocrity thus far. They've never been really terrible but they haven't been much good either.
 
21, Oakland Raiders
Record: 52-76 (0.406)
Play-off Appearances: Three (4-3)
Division Titles: Three (2000, 2001, 2002)
Super Bowl Appearances: One (2002)
 
Their regular season record is a lot worse than most above them and whilst the last few years have seen the Raiders reach new lows in their history, the fact they started the decade so strongly helps their cause in this ranking. Three double digit winning seasons and a Super Bowl appearance in 2002 save the Raiders blushes. Maybe Raider fans blame Tom Brady's infamous tuck rule pass for their decline but the truth is more that once they got blown out by their ex-Head Coach (Jon Gruden) in the Super Bowl and Rich Gannon had to retire, they fell apart.
 
Future Editions:
Middle Of The Pack # 20-11
The Top Ten # 10-1